Information Landmine

"The Americans keep telling us how successful their system is. Then they remind us not to stray too far from our hotel at night." - An un-named EU trade representative quoted during international trade talks in Denver, Colorado, 1997.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Spin doctors say the darndest things (especially when full of seasonal cheer)!

Sitting in a Tyneside pub the other evening with a rather "well-lubricated" acquaintance who is, respectively, a local council official, New Labour activist and self-described Blairite loyalist spin doctor, Information Landmine was shocked - yes, shocked, we tell you! - to be regaled with the tale of how a local constituency party in the North East of England allegedly organized a chug-a-lug beer-drinking contest as a campaign fundraiser during one of the last two general elections.

While the exact constituency and election cycle in which this grand event was said to have occurred escapes us due to both the world-class level of inebriation of our informant and, frankly, our own somewhat lower but nevertheless impressive degree of "seasonal goodwill", it was alleged that no less than the Prime Minister himself, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair MP and the modern day Machiavelli and ex-porn writer Alastair Campbell were not only present but were indeed (according to our source) visibly delighted by the spectacle of various toadies and party lackeys trying and failing to down a yard glass of fizzy lager in a single go and subsequently regurgitating vast amounts of foam as a result. Oh, how the as-yet-unindicted war criminals themselves were said to have roared with laughter at the proletarian jollity of it all!

If the existence and nature of this fundraising event is true - and, although possibly exaggerated by our source, it is not the kind of thing that such a loyal and experienced party activist would appear to have reason to simply invent - there is a certain irony about the public stance and policies of Her Majesty's Government on the hot-button issues of anti-social behaviour and binge drinking. An irony that we here at Information Landmine find amusing and disturbing but, sadly, not the least bit surprising.


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